Alright, it's late. I'm not exactly bringing my A game here, but I need to put my thoughts down. This may not make the most sense, but bear with me.
Jesse's situation reminds me of the aftermath of September 11th, 2001. Because Emily's birthday is the 17th and Oktoberfest is usually that weekend, we sometimes go to Cincinnati. It's a nice opportunity to get a lot of "fair" food, drink some beer and have a great time. The aftermath of the attacks around the country cancelled Oktoberfest that year, but we went to Cincinnati anyway. Just an opportunity to see my family and visit.
Once we got there, my mother told me about Rick Booms' sister. She had been on the second flight to hit the towers. The moment of her death, that second airplane, had been on TV for the last week. The family was having her funeral that weekend.
Rick had joined CJRC that winter of my senior year. He is two years younger than me, but was already 6'3" and a capable, experienced oarsman. He rowed six, right behind me. After I went to Yale, Rick anchored the Cincinnati juniors until he graduated and went to Brown. We met up at Sprints whenever we could, but I never had to race him. He was an old teammate; we had shared an incredible journey together that season of 1995, but had gone our separate ways since.
When I heard about his sister, I immediately felt a "pull," something deeper than regular sympathy. A feeling that somebody important to me was hurting and I needed to do something. We went to the funeral, and I talked to Rick briefly. I felt no need to interject myself any more than that; we had never talked outside of crew events in the six years since 1995. But somewhere in my soul I felt a connection that demanded to be addressed. A teammate was hurting and I needed to be there.
What we as a team feel about Jesse reflects such a connection. Somebody everyone on the FC squad shared a special season with is hurting, and we all feel a connection. As his coach that year, Jesse fills a special role with me: he was the first captain of the first crew I ever coached. In that fashion, I identify a parental relationship with him. The years since have seen a friendship develop that reflects more than a "mentor-apprentice" coach-assistant relationship. All the guys on the team feel something as well, something deeper than mere friendship. These guys have "gone to war" with Jesse, either in a boat with him or on a team that he captained. The novice guys experience him as a "big brother" coach showing them the ropes for the first time.
Bonds like these aren't forged in the course of a regular friendship. Like the trust combat veterans have for their buddies, sports relationships always forge deeper than expected because of the shared experiences between everyone on that team. Sports do teach valuable "life lessons" that are touted as justification for increasing budgets. However, such lessons are secondary to the bonds young athletes forge between each other. Crew, like many other sports, requires a level of trust that we have trouble developing in this modern world. Once you trust somebody like that, the bond between two, five, nine or however many will become adamantine. You will always jump to the aid of that person, because of your shared experiences and all those times that person had your back. Such relationships may seem to fade, but the slightest hint of a life-changing moment for that person will bring a visceral reaction from everyone on that team. That season may have been decades ago, but if somebody on that squad is hurting or celebrating, you'll drop everything to be with them, to cover their back this time around.
Another rambling post in the dead of night, with a morning practice five hours away. I guess I'm trying to say, get well soon Jesse, the guys and I have your back and stand ready for any need you might have. Not just as friends, but as a brotherhood.
Categories: Teamwork, Motivational, Memories, Personal, Rowing
2 comments:
“We Few, we happy few, we bands of brothers.” This is our motto, our battle cry and at no time should it be more prevalent than the one at hand. We are pulling together now when one of us could use our help. For one sees great things from the valley, only small things at the peak. Jesse is and will continue to be our anchor. Yes, he’s an official coach now but that does not change the fact that he is the band of brothers. We all are. We are all here to support you Jesse. That is the amazing bond that we have on this team. I can’t think of another situation when that much love is found for a coach. Jesse, just remember, He who gains victory over other men is strong; But he who gains victory over himself is all powerful. Jesse if there is anything you need every single one of us will be there. You push us to succeed during everything we do. I know personally you’ve pushed me through a 6k or two. Now it’s our time to do the same for you. You are a warrior. I end this post in the words of Louisa May Alcott: I’m not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.
Jesse, I can't think of anything more than what has alredy been said, but you truely are our eldest brother. You've had victories as a rower and this will just be another to add to your list. I'll always have your back and you'll be all the stronger when its over.
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